Rant: Mountains, Bad Drivers and Ugly Weather

I live in the Santa Cruz Mountains. "We don't drive on the left side of the road, we drive on what is left of the road."

It turns out that when you insist on installing a road net in earthquake country on the sides of steep hills prone to mudslides and collapses, then string that road net liberally with power and comm lines, with trees all over the place ... there tend to be problems. Who knew?

Now add the infamous California driver. This timid but aggressive beast believes he is an above average driver, has no idea where the true limits of their vehicle can be found, and cheerfully multitasks while drive the speed limit on a wet road in heavy rain. Add obliviousness to concepts such as hydroplaning, friction, rockfall and "a safe and prudent speed for the conditions." Now add being totally lost.

Fortunately, the Santa Cruz mountain resident is often equipped with a wide variety of tools to face this challenge.

• community groups on Nextdoor and FaceBook with up to the minute road information, some of the latter secret
  
• the numbers for CalTrans Road Conditions, County Roads, local CHP offices and one's elected public officials
  
• a modest supply of basic mountain emergency equipment, such as a chainsaw, tow chains, shovels and rakes
  
• a ready list of excuses to use with work for being late
  
• a cellphone with camera to use as a dashcam and/or documentary proof of why one couldn't get down the hill, or had to drive alternate routes
  
• traffic and emergency information apps such as Cruz511, CalTrans, Citizen Connect and PulsePoint
  
• navigation apps such as Google Maps and Waze
  
• last but not least, emergency caffeine, because the nearest Starbucks is not on the nearest corner
  

We're not road warriors. We're road barbarians.

Locals will get the multiple jokes embedded in this picture. "Valley go home."